I normally write about problems you as a German learner might have when talking to a German speaker.
As a German learner, you want Germans to be patient and attentive when you speak. You could offer the same courtesy when German speakers are speaking English (and no, not all Germans are fluent in English!). So today I’m turning this around and give you some hints of how you can help a German – or any other foreign national – who is trying to speak English. How you could help them feel valued and good, even if their English isn’t perfect.
When you’re learning German, remember how encouraging it feels when someone patiently listens while you search for the right words. Try to offer that same patience to someone speaking English as a second language.
Listening is one of the most underrated skills in building strong relationships and effective communication. Active listening goes beyond simply hearing words – it involves fully focusing on the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. By practising active listening, you show others that their thoughts and feelings matter, which builds trust and strengthens connections. This skill improves personal relationships and enhances teamwork and problem-solving in professional settings.
And, of course, these tips are just as useful when talking to somebody who speaks the same language as you do 😊
Maintain eye contact
Looking at the speaker while they talk shows that you’re fully engaged and interested in what they’re saying. Eye contact helps build trust and encourages the speaker to open up. Avoid staring intensely. A natural, relaxed eye contact is all that’s needed to make the other person feel valued.
Avoid interrupting
Interruptions can disrupt the speaker’s train of thought and make them feel unheard. Practise patience by waiting for a natural pause before responding. Allowing the speaker to fully express themselves helps create a more respectful and productive conversation. This is especially important when someone is speaking in a language that isn’t their first language. They may need a little extra time to find the right word or formulate what they want to say. Allowing the speaker to fully express themselves helps create a more respectful and productive conversation.
Use non-verbal cues
Small gestures like nodding, smiling, or leaning slightly forward can signal to the speaker that you’re paying attention. Non-verbal cues reinforce that you’re present and invested in the conversation. These subtle actions create a positive, welcoming atmosphere.
Ask clarifying questions
If something needs to be clarified, ask questions to gain a deeper understanding. For example, you might say, “Can you elexplain that a little more?” or “What did you mean by this?” Clarifying questions shows that you’re engaged and helps prevent misunderstandings.
Paraphrase what you hear
Summarise or restate what the speaker has said in your own words. For instance, you could say, “So, you’re saying that…” to confirm your understanding. Paraphrasing demonstrates that you’re actively processing their words and gives them a chance to correct any misinterpretations. This can be particularly helpful when speaking with someone whose first language is different from your own. Rather than focusing on their grammar, pronunciation or accent, focus on the meaning of what they are trying to communicate. Paraphrasing demonstrates that you’re actively processing their words and gives them a chance to correct any misinterpretations.
Eliminate distractions
Put away your phone, turn off notifications, and focus entirely on the speaker. Distractions signal disinterest and can weaken the connection between you. Giving your full attention ensures a more meaningful and respectful interaction.
Avoid judging
Approach the conversation with an open mind, setting aside preconceived notions or judgments. Judgment can shut down honest communication and discourage the speaker from sharing openly. Active listening requires accepting the speaker’s perspective, even if you disagree.
Focus on emotions
Pay attention not just to the speaker’s words but also to their tone and body language. These emotional cues often reveal the underlying feelings behind their message. Recognising these emotions allows you to respond with empathy and understanding.
Be patient with silence
Moments of silence may feel awkward, but they often give the speaker time to reflect or gather their thoughts. Resist the urge to fill these pauses with your own input. This can be even more important when someone is speaking a foreign language. They may be silently searching for the right word or working out how to express an idea. Patience with silence shows respect and encourages deeper conversations.
Fast Action Steps
1. Practise paraphrasing in your next conversation
Listen carefully during your next meaningful conversation and summarise what the other person has said in your own words. For example, you might say, “It sounds like you’re feeling…” or “What I hear you saying is…” If you’re speaking with someone whose first language is different from yours, focus on what they are trying to communicate rather than correcting small mistakes. Paraphrasing shows you’re paying attention and ensures you’ve understood their message clearly.
2. Eliminate one distraction
Choose a specific distraction, like your phone, a noisy environment, or multitasking, and remove it during your next conversation. Focusing solely on the person speaking will create a more respectful and engaging interaction. This small change can make a big difference in how valued the other person feels.
3. Ask a clarifying question
In your next discussion, ask one thoughtful question to show you’re engaged and to deepen your understanding. This is particularly useful when speaking with someone in a second language. If you
don’t understand something, don’t simply pretend that you do. Ask them to clarify or repeat it. For example, you might ask, “Could you explain what you mean?” or “Could you say that again, please?” Giving someone the opportunity to explain themselves helps you understand their message without making them feel self-conscious about their language.
In a nutshell: What you hope Germans will do for you, do for them!
Here are those tips again in video form, but this time just generalised for any conversation you may have with a foreigner who is trying to speak your language.
